Bhakti Pariksha (COVID-19 Edition)
Here's a quiz to assess how well you have performed as a Bhakt during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Read more [...]
Tag Archives: satire
India saved from Disha Ravi
Not Pakistan. Not China. Not even Nehru. India's greatest security threat is Disha Ravi, a 22 year old student ravaging the world with her environmentalism and veganism. Read more [...]
Let’s celebrate AAP’s criminal MLAs!
AAP's recent electoral victory in Delhi was seen as a win for democracy. The Ballot beat the Bullet. Secularism beat Fascism. Development beat Divisiveness etc. etc. But AAP's electoral victory was also validation for another critical component of our democracy - backing of winnable candidates by political parties(often those with pending criminal cases), at any cost.
Arvind Kejriwal is the Delhi Chief Minister and National Convener/ Master and Read more [...]
Hindutva India Tours, Leisure & Entertainment Retreats (H.I.T.L.E.R)
Aren't we lucky to be witnessing the era of Acche Din? In 2020, you can extend the joy of being a Bhakt to every aspect of your life. This year, forego your normal, boring vacation and opt for a special package from Hindutva India Tours, Leisure & Entertainment Retreats (H.I.T.L.E.R). Our exclusive, customized tours are designed to provide you with first-hand experience of some of the greatest hits of our beloved nationalistic government. Relive Read more [...]
Note from a Magnanimous Hindu to those other Indians
India is truly blessed that our population is dominated by those who identify as Hindu - the most noble and altruistic people in the history of mankind. Irrespective of your caste, gender or religion, we know what’s best for you and have now mobilized our government to work in your best interest. It’s been a tough ride for Hindus in India since we’ve constantly been under attack and oppressed. All we have going for us is a majority of the population, Read more [...]
#MeTooIndia – Five ways to blame women for getting sexually assaulted
India is gripped by an epidemic. Our most vulnerable population, men in positions of power & authority, are being forced to take responsibility for acts of sexual aggression. Never before has the status quo been challenged so brazenly. Going forward, there could be a possibility that entitled men may need to think twice before catcalling, inappropriately touching and/or sexually assaulting women. These are trying times for our men. But all is Read more [...]
2017’s Best Hindutva Quotes (and a few lessons for surviving acche din)
'The West' hates India. As do India's own minorities and liberal minded 'intellectuals'. Thankfully, our future is safe in the hands of BJP and its ideology. Today, our expertise in cow excrement has put us on the brink of redefining medical research. Our BJP leaders have shown us a path to hate everyone who isn't the majority. And being patriotic is now easier than ever before. Here are some of the best Hindutva quotes from 2017, and some important Read more [...]
These Indians are still “celebrating” Demonetisation
All stories showcased below are thanks to People's Archive of Rural India (PARI). You can visit this page to read PARI's coverage of demonetisation to learn how India's most marginalized have been affected by it over the past year.
On Nov 8th 2016, the government decided to casually demonetise 86% of the country's banknotes in circulation. In terms of an operating strategy, the government very prudently decided to have none. They allowed Read more [...]
The Jay Amit Shah Story (told the correct way)
The Wire has dared to malign Jay Amit Shah by questioning the business practices of this financial prodigy. In reality, Jay Amit Shah is a genius who needs to be recognized & celebrated. Thankfully, The Wire is being sued for Rs. 100 crore for defaming an honest, hard-working businessman.
Why can’t more Indians be like Jay Amit Shah? Instead of complaining about the economy and government policies, this chai wala’s right hand man’s Read more [...]
Assaulted, Abducted or Raped a Woman? Please be my MLA.
India has always been a world leader at electing those with pending criminal cases. Our political parties have forever provided us with a steady pipeline of criminally tainted candidates . And as electors, we always deliver by continuing to elect legislators who are accused of every crime under the sun from petty thefts to kidnappings and murders. We currently have the most criminalized Lok Sabha in history. #AccheDin.
All data is courtesy Association Read more [...]
Quiz: How well do you know the ‘other’ India?
India is poised to be an economic super-power (at least that's what we've been told) and is expected to become the third largest economy by 2030. For decades, we have been obsessed with GDP and economic growth. What we don't seem to track and measure as diligently, is basic human development. How does India perform at indicators that look at stuff like access to healthcare, education, nutrition etc? Most of us in urban bubbles couldn't care less Read more [...]
New Rules for New India (making Hindutva great again!)
Bharat Mata ki Jai!
Bharat Mata has long been plagued with religious and cultural diversity. From Trump in the West to Kim-Jong in the East, we are faced with increasing global competition to create fundamentalist societies. Thankfully, we have been able to come up with our very own #MakeInIndia solution to keep abreast with the times. Our government's Hindutva governance is based on thousands of years of research and provides a unique solution Read more [...]
Lok Sabha Honours List 2017 – Our most useless MPs
We know that our MPs hate attending parliament and being productive - but some are worse than others. There is an official record maintained of the activity of all MPs in parliament including attendance, questions raised and debates participated in. It's been three years since we elected our Lok Sabha. We look at some of our most illustrious parliamentarians who are least bothered to show up or participate in the Lok Sabha.
PRS Legislative Research, Read more [...]
Would you hire someone with this Resume? (He is now UP’s Chief Minister!)
BJP - the party with a difference, has given us another gem. Yogi Adityanath will be the next Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh. Yogi Adityanath will act as an inspiration for millions of UPites over the next five years as he brings a much needed regressive and narrow minded approach to governance. Here is his incredible resume which touches upon his impressive body of work:
Ajay Singh Bisht (aka Yogi Adityanath)
361,Old Gorakhpur,Shri Gorakhnath Read more [...]
The Butcher of India’s Surgical Strikes – Arnab Goswami
The aftermath of India’s surgical strikes has provided us with a new hero – Arnab Goswami. Every night, on super primetime, Arnab and his ego, put on a beautiful performance where they painstakingly take down every opinion that could be perceived as anti-Indian. Instead of using rationale or reason, Arnab uses the most effective tools available – bullying, shouting and mocking. Never mind if the person at the receiving end is Indian or Pakistani. Read more [...]
Is Mayawati Porn a thing?
WahSarkar has always been a fan of Behenji Mayawati - especially back in the good old days when she used to be the CM (Chief Megalomaniac) of Uttar Pradesh. Over the years, we have profiled her prudent fiscal policies and her nuanced take on the positioning of an elephant's trunk. We also compared her (and other politicians') Google Search popularity with Sunny Leone. In the complicated world of search engine optimization, all this has somehow Read more [...]
Thank You Smriti Irani for reinforcing the virtues of bigotry
Thank you Smriti Irani. The country was confused and in a precarious situation before your enthralling performance in parliament yesterday. But today we all have a clearer understanding of how to live our lives.
For whatever reasons, university students thought that they can espouse opinions that differ from those of the government. For too long, we have allowed universities to be venues of active social debate where students are exposed to different Read more [...]
Do you qualify for Indian citizenship? (Hindutva bylaw edition)
We want you to be prepared for a changing India. One where we are ready to embrace our Hindutva heritage and rid ourselves of any diversity, free thought and rational opinion. Our quiz is based on the latest Hindutva ideas available in India that are steeped in ignorance and bigotry - traits that you will need to thrive in the years ahead. All the best!
Women’s Empowerment in Indian Politics is here to stay (just kidding) !
We heard them loud and clear last year as they screamed hoarse about the need for empowering women in India. In the lead up to Lok Sabha 2014, all political parties told us how they plan to tackle gender equality. And boy did they perform, when it came to taking action during the elections, i.e. giving tickets to women.
Overall, only (8%) of candidates in Lok Sabha 2014 were women and currently just 11% of the parliament is female.
Among the major Read more [...]
Political Personality Quiz: Are you a Libtard, Bhakt or Aaptard?
BJP’s Hindutva Superheroes are here to save India
Forget poverty and economic inequality. Forget dying children and crumbling infrastructure. Forget farmer suicides and even forget corruption. India’s biggest challenge today is combating the religious and cultural diversity that exists in the country. We must tackle this monster and thankfully Prime Minister Modi’s extended team includes a pack of super heroes who will guide India to a path of intolerance and cultural homogeneity.
Mohan Read more [...]
List of Gundas contesting Delhi Assembly elections
Hello Delhi,
To make voting easier for you, we have created a list of candidates that you must vote into power. In last year's Lok Sabha elections, we voted in 186 MPs with pending criminal cases (36% of the Lok Sabha) - an all time record. Let's see if you can do better in #DelhiFightClub #DelhiShowdown #DelhiIsIndia #IndiaIsDelhi #NothingElseMatters. Please make sure that these candidates who have been given tickets by our political parties come Read more [...]
Lok Sabha Electoral Malpractice Awards for States 2014
The recent Lok Sabha elections were historic in many ways from record voter turnouts to landslide victories. Equally enthralling was the battle to see which states come out on top in terms of committing most electoral malpractice. As per the Compendium of Instructions on Election Expenditure Monitoring published by the Election Commission in January 2014, we have created six award categories:
1) खुले आम रिश्वत Read more [...]
Gunda-Raj continues with Lok Sabha 2014 – Well done India!
Over the last month, we shattered voting records. An all time high of 66.4% of the national electorate voted. And the result is that we have resoundingly selected the most criminal parliament ever. For the last three years, we've been out on the streets protesting on empty stomachs and our fingers have gone numb sharing and liking status updates. But at the end of the day, it's been all worth it. We have proudly selected 186 parliamentarians (36% Read more [...]
Dear Indian Voter, why are you still voting for Criminals?
Dear Indian Voter,
You have spent the last 3 years expressing your frustration with the Indian political system. You protested in the streets, went on hunger strikes and ranted on social media. You said you were fed up with corruption and the quality of parliamentarians. This time around, you are supposed to get into action, walk to the booth and vote for change.
You must understand that change is not a silver-bullet. It will not be miraculously Read more [...]
Best Approaches to stopping Honest Bureaucrats: A definitive guide from Uttar Pradesh
Theft, dacoity and murder form the backbone of Uttar Pradesh’s economy. Unfortunately, from time to time certain individuals come along and try to challenge this status-quo. Earlier this year, Durga Shakti Nagpal, provided the UP establishment with a stiff challenge. This 28 year old had the audacity to take on the state’s sand mafia. She tried, but was eventually no match for the guile and deviousness of the state government.
The illegal Read more [...]
India’s Politicians Unite Against Transparency!
This month saw the passing of a judgement by India's Central Information Commission (CIC), that classifies nationally recognized political parties as 'public authorities'.
What does this mean?
This means is that common citizens can now file RTI applications to political parties to obtain information. For instance, a citizen could inquire about internal elections in a party or about financial sources/expenditures of a party. The judgement is Read more [...]
Thank you for arresting those Facebook ‘liking’ girls
We are blessed to live in a nation where a quick thinking police force is ever-present to check heinous Facebook statuses that could cause widespread death and destruction. Maharashtra was on the verge of being ravaged by communal riots but for speedy action by the police.
Shaheen Dhada from Palghar, had the audacity to put up a status message on Facebook that compared the demise of a political leader to that of a common man. Even more shocking was Read more [...]
Fasting Season Begins!
India's ''total revolution'' and ''second freedom struggle'' continue this year with another 'indefinite' fast. It's Team Anna's 4th fast in 16 months. At the peak of their fasting prowess, Team Anna had bellowed itself hoarse screaming that ''Anna is India and India is Anna''. The crowds that thronged various hunger-strike venues were showcased to testify that Anna Hazare was truly representative of what India wants.
The novelty of a helpless old Read more [...]
Invest in Lok Sabha MPs for Guaranteed Returns!
The economy of India maybe going through troubled times right now. But one industry that is forever booming, is the Indian parliament. Our Lok Sabha MPs made fortunes even during the economic meltdown of 2008. Forget banks and the stock market. Just catch hold of your constituency’s MP and handover your assets to him for a guaranteed return.
Candidates who contest elections in India, declare their financial assets on affidavits to the Election Read more [...]
Open Letter from a Rajya Sabha MP to Sachin Tendulkar
The nomination of Sachin Tendulkar to the Rajya Sabha has caused a fair amount of anguish across the country. Here’s a letter from an anonymous Rajya Sabha member to the master explaining this.
Dear Sachin,
Till a few days back no one really cared for what was going on in the Rajya Sabha. Barring hyped up LokPal type debates, hardly did the average citizen care for our activities. However, since your nomination I have found that there is a new Read more [...]
Are You Fit to Support Trinamool Congress?
The Trinamool Congress (TMC) headed by Didi Mamta Bannerjee is one of the country's fastest growing parties. However, in recent times there has been an element of confusion regarding how TMC members and supporters must behave and live their lives. Do you want to support the TMC? The more pertinent question is, Are You Fit to Support TMC? Find out below...
Note: Issues pertaining to TMC's reign in West Bengal have been raised in this Read more [...]
Lok Sabha Honours List – Our most useless MPs
Parliamentarians in the Lok Sabha are our nation's pride. Here's a look at ones who have gone out of their way to do something special.
There is an official record maintained of the activity of all MPs in parliament including attendance, questions raised and debated participated in. The record is not maintained for ministers since they are not mandated to sign attendance registers and initiate debates.
Honour List 1 - MPs with less than 50% attendance Read more [...]
Quotable Quotes – The best of 2011
As the year ends, we decided to compile some of the most interesting quotes of the year from the political sphere.
1. “The country did not get actual freedom even after 64 years of independence and the only change was that the whites have been replaced by the blacks.” ~ One of Anna Hazare’s many rhetorical statements during the year.
2. “I believe that Janlokpal Bill will put break on at least 65% corruption in the country.” ~ Anna Hazare’s Read more [...]
Neta Profiling – Party Wise
Are your favourite politicians Aam Aadmis or Ameer Gundas? Here is an analysis of current Lok Sabha MPs from various political parties based on criminal and financial backgrounds.
This analysis is a follow-up to our state wise analysis which showed the importance of money power and muscle power in the parliament.
All candidates who contest elections in India submit to the Election Commission, a self sworn affidavit with details of criminal records Read more [...]
Open Letter from Anna Hazare to all Indians
Anna Hazare is back. Here is his message to one and all. In-case you are already an Anna follower, you are doing well. In case you are not one, please have some shame, read his message and follow him to a glorious corruption free India.
Dear Citizens of India,
For the past 6 months I have been regularly starving myself for you, to give you a nation that is free of corruption. I have successfully convinced you that corruption is an event that occurs Read more [...]
Baap Beta Pvt. Ltd. – India’s Political Dynasties
India’s democracy can at times be looked at as a ‘family business’. For decades, tickets have been distributed by political parties to the children of party stalwarts & Chief Ministerial berths have been randomly shared between spouses. Here is a closer look at this problem.
Most of this data is courtesy the research of writer & historian, Patrick French.
Lok Sabha Dynasty
156 out of 545* Lok Sabha members come from political Read more [...]
Kaun Banega Cr000,000,000,000repati!
Are you fit to survive in today's world of scams & corruption? To help you explore the depths of your knowledge we bring to you a quiz called SCAMMED. Here you can gauge your awareness levels about various scams that have been unearthed over the last few years. We assure you that you will come across some mind boggling facts & figures during the course of the quiz.
Click on START below to begin. In case you do not wish to take the entire Read more [...]
Neta Profiling – Aam Aadmi to Ameer Gunda
Members of Parliament in the Lok Sabha represent each one of us. However their financial assets & criminal backgrounds are a different story. Here we compare MPs from different states in the country and figure out whether they are Aam Aadmis or Ameer Gundas or a mixture of both.
All candidates who contest elections in India submit to the Election Commission, a self sworn affidavit with details of criminal records & financial assets. These Read more [...]
BABA dRAMa DEV
Mr. Ram Krishna Yadav/Baba Ramdev is the main protagonist in the ongoing national circus. To add to his absurd list of demands, he has taken to fighting against black money with spuriously acquired wealth.
After the Ramlila fiasco, Baba by his own admission to TV, said that he excused himself to change clothes and then ran away. Later he was found on stage after which he jumped into the crowd of followers and also changed into women clothes Read more [...]
Annanomics – An analysis of India’s Hunger Strike Industry
There is a lot of debate surrounding the support & reputation of India’s Civil Society which is starving itself these days to pressurize the Government of India. Here we compare Civil Society with the Government through various parameters. Some of them defy logic. But that’s just the world of hunger strikes for you.
The entire debate started when a committee to draft the Jan Lokpal Bill was created. This committee has Read more [...]
Saare Jaha se accha, Gandhistan humara
Watching the ‘’DLF’’ IPL has exposed us to ‘’Citi” moments of success and “Maxx” timeouts. However such style of branding has been on in the country for many decades. The Nehru-Gandhi name has been prefixed before countless government schemes and projects. Here we look at a supremely effective method of political branding by the Indian National Congress. A method which has succeeded in using the face of the country as an Read more [...]
Chor Machaye Shor – A toast to Democracy
We are currently in the midst of a spate of assembly elections. Wah Sarkar looks at a true incident which occurred a few years ago in Tamil Nadu. This is an amazing story which highlights the grit and will power of India's common man.
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Murderers Eleven
Indian cricket teams have notoriously been known for lacking the ‘killer instinct’. Here’s a look at one Indian team which has all possible predatory instincts.
Wah Sarkar decided to select 11 of our finest parliamentarians from the Lok Sabha to form a team of world beaters/killers/murderers/thugs. Out of 543 members, 162 MPs have pending criminal cases*. Thus it was a tough task narrowing this immensely talented bunch down to just 11. We have Read more [...]
Behenji – India’s Most Eligible Bachelorette
For some absurd reason Kumari Mayawati is always ignored whenever lists of India’s most eligible bachelor(ettes) is made. Let us try to understand what makes or rather what should make Maya more desirable than Katrina Kaif & Deepika Padukone combined.
Q1. Who is Mayawati?
Ans. Mayawati (B.A., B.Ed, LL.B) is the current very very honourable Chief Minister of India’s most populous state Uttar Pradesh which is the world’s most populous Read more [...]
